Self-Care and What It Means for Us
In a world where “self-care” is a buzzword, we are constantly hearing what self-care “should look like”. Being a part of the beauty industry, we hear all the time that self care has to be something to physically do. For some of our guests, this is true! We hear that the facial treatment, pedicure, or scalp facial they received was just what they needed to feel better about themselves, and that’s fantastic. However, the biggest part of self-care isn’t what it’s “supposed to look like” for everyone. Every one of us has different needs. We all live different lives. Some of us need connection with other people and getting out to socialize is our self-care. For others, it’s taking the time to pause and be with themselves, whether that means making time for that beauty routine or service, or journaling, reading, or meditating in the way that works for us.
Sometimes self-care comes in the way of boundaries. As we enter into the swing of the holiday hustle and bustle, a lot of us have social and family obligations they may not enjoy, and that’s ok. It’s becoming aware when our social battery/spoons have run out, we need to take the time to charge/collect more spoons.
Also, “No.” is a complete sentence. We have the right to say no to the things we don’t want to do. Once we know it’s time to charge our battery, the next question becomes, what does that look like for us? This can change all the time and needs to work for us and our lives. Taking the time to call a loved one we don’t connect with often, washing our face, sleeping in, taking a nap, making time for a hobby, whether that’s creating something, reading, or making the time to clean our home, are all versions of self-care for different people at different times. Sometimes self-care looks like “work” to others. Making time to prepare meals for the week, workout, or take a shower/bath can also be self-care. The point I’m trying to make is don’t fall into the self-care trap of thinking it needs to look a certain way. We all need different things at different times and the most difficult part of it all is taking the time to be with ourselves to really uncover what that means for us at that moment in time.
For me, I like to make lists. They make me see the progress I’m making towards getting things done. I have to incorporate my self care into my checklist, or I can easily forget myself. Being in the industry I am, I am constantly taking care of others’ needs, and I can forget about my own from time to time. I get crabby, reactive, and unhappy. I have learned to be aware of these feelings and take a time out to journal about what I am allowing in my life and what shifts I can make to take better care of myself. Making that time to check in with myself is just as important as scheduling self-care time for me. I build in time to organize and clean my house, workout, call friends, and be with myself through meditation. Sometimes I need all of them in a week, sometimes I just need one. I make the time for my two hour monthly massage, and there are times I have to talk myself into taking that time for myself because there is “so much to do, that’s two whole hours of work I could be doing.” At the salon, our team takes one day per month to trade services with each other and give each other what we need. Creating new habits is easier said than done and has taken discipline to really “hear what I need”. It’s a practice. I’m not perfect. I overwork some weeks and have to readjust for the following week. I have days where I neglect myself altogether and forget to simply drink water and eat a meal. I don’t look at those times as “failures” anymore. I look at those times as a little oops and readjust going forward. Forgiving myself is just as important as self-care itself.
Remember this holiday season, that self-care is important and it looks different for everyone. You don’t need to justify or make excuses about what self-care means to you. It’s yours. The time that we all get in a day is the same. We get to decide how to spend it. I try to remember as much as possible that time is the only resource we can’t make more of. Time is precious and it matters. Do the things that matter most to you and remember to check in with yourself as we head into the busiest part of the year. Your time matters. You matter. And we all deserve to be the happiest versions of ourselves all year long.