Seasons Change

Hello! Welcome to my first blog post. Today, I thought I would take some time to chat about seasonal depression, how it affects me, and what I do to make things a little better.

I was first diagnosed with depression at the ripe old age of 13. I was bullied relentlessly for it because it was a “cry for attention” - in reality, I was deeply affected by my parents divorce and getting caught in the middle of the crossfire. Not very fun for someone that is in a pivotal point in a young person’s life. I didn’t have a lot of friends, I isolated myself from my family, and was in the worst point in my life.

I bet you’re wondering, “Emmy. Why a sob story?” Well, I believe mental health isn’t taken seriously. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. I am a young adult with seasonal depression - the sun goes down faster, outside is icky, you really feel like you can’t do much. Here’s a guide to helpful things I do to help anyone that feels like they’re in a rut.

1. When I feel like doomscrolling on TikTok, I usually pivot and try to find something useful - like a recipe. There are a lot of amazing chefs, bakers, food bloggers that I follow and get ideas from. Ever had a Caesar Chicken Salad Smash Taco? No? Well, there’s a new dinner idea! Finding recipes and committing to making them has really helped my spirits pick up, even just for a little bit. Just don’t get caught in that doomscrolling. 😉
2. I’m all about horror, true crime, scary stuff, heavier music that goes *blegh*. I try not to watch or listen to that stuff during the winter. I’m a paranoid person in general, I get spooked a bit. It’s not fun to have the “I need to hide under my bed” feeling when you’re sad. I’ve started watching cooking shows, watching cute animals, listening to happier music or listening to something more upbeat in the genres I listen to, and staying away from politics. My mood has definitely improved with taking out all the heavy shit. Your sweater is supposed to be heavy to keep warm, not your mental.
3. I’ve talked about my hobbies before, like crochet, knitting, but I’ve been getting to something from childhood again! The thing? Pokémon. Hobbies have been a life saver when I’m feeling sad. Right now, I’m getting back into crochet, making a nice throw blanket for movie nights! My great grandma said that crocheting blankets during this time is an excuse to do something you love while also staying warm. Last year, I knitted a scarf and will continue to wear because it was something I made for me. It makes me feel good. Pokémon is another form of escape, challenging my strategies with different decks I build. It may sound silly, but creating the perfect deck is a 10/10. If you’re a Pokémon person, you should seriously download the Trading Card Game Pocket.
4. As I said previously, I isolated myself from friends and family. That’s a sure fire way to become really sad and feel really lonely. Connection is one of those things that you cannot skip out on. I’ve been connecting with old friends and staying in touch with my friends via texting and seeing them at the salon. One of my friends and I both said that even though we don’t hang out or talk every day, we both agree that we are there for each other. She spills tea, I spill tea, it’s great! She also made me realize that people actually do care about people - no matter how long it’s been, we always match energy. She might not know this, but she is definitely my best friend. She’s been there for me, stood up for me without me even knowing, and holding true to her character. She’s a friend that I made for life in the summer of 2016.
5. Finally, the best advice that I can give to anyone is to be honest with yourself. You can force a smile, a laugh, but I know I’ve had the feeling of “nothing will ever get better”. If you’ve also had that feeling, write it down. Notebook, computer, blog, anything to help you get the negative out of you and somewhere else is the best feeling. When you’re done writing whatever you need to write, save it in a box. When summer rolls around (or if you have somewhere to safely do this), burn all the pages. The gratification that I’ve had with that feeling in the past has been nothing but helpful. Use different colors for different emotions, save the positive things and hang them up in your wall. What are you feeling? Cool, write that down.

Mental health and mental health advocacy has been very important to me - I believe everybody should talk about mental health and make it more of a conversation. If you feel alone, remember that you’re not. Reach out to someone that you care about and let them know what’s going on. You’d be surprised how much you reaching out can create a stronger relationship with that person.

Stay safe, warm, kind, and happy during these winter months. You deserve it.