Reflecting on Grief and Love

This month I have been reflecting a lot on grief and love. The two go hand in hand after all, as I was reminded by my younger sister a few days ago. Grief is simply defined as change.

When things change, our hearts, minds, and souls need to process and grieve what we have lost. For most people who haven’t done a lot of work with grief in the past or haven’t had to, they tend to relate grief to two things, death and divorce. But when you’re a survivor of trauma and have had many moments of great loss in your life, you start to discover that grief is so much more than that.

As human beings, we grieve every single day. Some of us mourn the loss of loved ones and celebrate and pass on the traditions we got to experience together. Some of us mourn the relationships we wish we had had. Some of us honor our boundaries over what we had to endure as children, and in turn, create new traditions that we want to begin with our chosen families. Whatever you are processing or grieving this holiday season, remember to show yourself grace. Big feelings deserve our attention.

For me, writing has been such a freeing action I can take to process through some heavy emotions as I grieve the past and look forward to the future. Taking the time to have deep, meaningful conversations with my closest friends and family has really helped me too.

I think connection is what is important as we process and grow in this life. When we reach out and connect to others, we realize how much alike we really are and suddenly feel so much less alone. For me, when I choose to isolate myself for too long, I start to believe that I’m better off alone and that “no one understands me”. These thoughts become my reality if I”m not careful. I’ve learned over the years that when I want to crawl in a hole, it’s time to pick up the phone or write a letter. It turns my whole mindset around when I connect to someone when I’m feeling alone.

In 2025, my commitment to myself is to connect more with my friends and family. Admittedly since Covid (or as I call it, the Great Pause), I have turned into more of a homebody and I’ve tried to convince myself over the years that “this is just who I am now”. But when I really get honest with myself, I realize how much I miss making time for and being with my people. I miss coffee dates. I miss walk dates in the park. I miss long phone calls and snail mail. I want to start hosting more social events in my little house and connecting with the people I love most.

When I think about how fast the years seem to fly by, it puts things into perspective of what is truly important to me. When I’m living my last days, I won’t be concerned about how much TV I didn’t get to watch or how I should have stayed home more. I will be thinking about the memories I made with the people whom I love. That’s what matters to me.

I’m not huge into the idea of yearly resolutions, but I am a believer in changing your life to match more of what you want and need. I’ve taken the time to reflect this month on what is important to me - relationships.

Here’s to more love, more connection, and more social interactions in 2025, for me that is. I hope you get more of what you want and need in 2025 too. As I say, life is short, so make the most of it. Cheers friends. And Happy New Year.